Skip to main content
It's Christmas morning 2013. I am working this year, which I haven't done in a very long time.  I am pretty ambivalent about working today.  We didn't have any plans this year and I really miss my family.

Having split custody makes holidays challenging.  Unfortunately we have exchange day  for my step-son, the day after Christmas.  This has meant that last four years we have had to shorten or not take trips.  One year we were going to take him to Alaska to spend a week with my family and have a white Christmas, however his mother was not willing to be flexible and getting back the day after was just going to be too expensive.  Last year we drove home from my parents two hours away,  right after dinner.  It just hasn't been the same.

I miss gathering with my family and extended family.  I miss weeks of holiday parties leading up to Christmas.  I miss caroling with friends.  I miss watching cheesy movies together as a family.  I miss decorating together.  I miss baking together.  I miss watching football together.  I miss watching everyone open their gifts with glee.  I miss my mom making Puffs and Jam for breakfast.  I miss Christmas Eve pizza dinner and Christmas day feast.  I miss the enjoyment of the season and just being surrounded by those I love.  

I know life changes and people are busy.  I just always thought these activities and company is how my life would be.  I am bummed to not get to carry on traditions with my family.  I can't wait for the Christmas we get to spend together again as a family -Nena and Pa, all the boys, my hubsy and even the stinky dogs!    

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

There are so many reasons why I should hate this photo, but I don't.

I participated in a photo shoot for an event called the #suitupcampaign.  It is the hope of the woman organizing it to have a more varied representation of body types in swim suits, which would in turn  invite other women to feel comfortable "suiting up" for summer if they saw bodies that looked like theirs.  I was asked to submit a picture of my suit and so I set out to take a couple selfies.  As I was going through them and I started to notice something; I looked beautiful. As a fat, white, cisgender, femme-presenting, often mis-identified queer woman who is currently partnered with a cisgender man, I have received many messages about my body over the course of my life. From a very young age my body was labeled as fat.  I understood the resounding message that my worth was directly tied to in how much space I was supposed to take up in the world.  I understood that it was always open season on my body - from family, friends, doctors and even stranger...
4 comments
Read more

The look that started it all...

When I began my new attempt at fashion/photo taking journey it sprung from  this cute picture.   I was reading a bunch of articles by  Lesley Kinzel  and she kept showing up in these cute little dresses with leggings and a shirt tied high.  I loved the look and again, was convinced that it would not work on my body type. This is an ongoing narrative in so many peoples lives.  "I can't wear this, it's not right for my body."  "I can't cut my hair that short, my face is too fat."  "I can't show my arms because they jiggle."  All these are excuses that get in the way of living a full life, a life that we deserve.  I can't how many times I have allowed myself to miss out on an adventure, both big and small, out of fear of how my body may be perceived or fear that it/I won't be accepted.  I am tired of feeling that way.  I am tired of feeling like I don't deserve to feel good in what I am wearing, how I want to move my body and wh...
2 comments
Read more

Little Bliss List!

I believe I mentioned before falling in love with this website . I stumbled upon Liv (pronounced leeev, not like "Live Strong") when looking for ideas for Christmas. She creates some really positive and affirming art and has a store on Etsy. Anyway, on her blog, she has created a weekly post dedicated to recognizing the moments of bliss in her life. She invites others to post their own list and link with her. I wanted to do this last week, and didn't get it together in time. This week I figured what better way to wrap up my weekend than spend a few minutes recognizing my moments of bliss over the course of the last week. So here I go... 1) The smell of fresh brewed coffee on Monday morning and caramel mocchiato creamer. 2) Spending time with my bestie supporting each other through rough work stuff and celebrating the planning of her impending nuptials. I love that our relationship is deep, strong and marvelously complicated. 3) Weekly chats with my Grams. I am...
3 comments
Read more