Monday, September 22, 2014


I have fallen in love with Pinterest.  I was late to the game, much like I was with Facebook, however once I arrived I hit the ground running.  Like many people, I started using it for recipes, then when we bought our house I started pinning ideas for how to garden, patch dry wall and other adventures.  However it was until recently when I started my "journey to fashion" if you will, that I found out how amazing it was for inspiring new outfits. Check out this example!

This was the original that I totally
fell in love with her outfit!
This was my first attempt.
I have struggled finding the perfect
striped shirt.  This is a chevron
shirt by Avenue.  The jeans and
jacket are both Lane Bryant
This was my second attempt
after finding a stripped shirt
at Lane Bryant.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Hey guys, I totally killed it at yoga!

I try to make it to Fat Yoga every Saturday.  Due to my ridiculous work schedule, I can't make classes during the week so Saturday mornings are precious to me.  There is something magical the happens in that time and space and when I miss it, I feel like I have missed out in some sort of cosmic cleansing and emotional refueling.

I have been doing yoga off and on for nearly 20 years and never has it felt quite like this.  The owner, Anna, is a magic maker.  She invites us back into our bodies, which on more than one occasion has brought me to tears.  Anna reminds us, as we move through poses, of how strong we are and how we deserve to be here today taking up space.  She encourages us to grow in our love of our bodies.  She challenges us to trust our bodies and to listen closely to them.  She creates a space for rich conversations to happen, where we can safely explore what we don't know and continue our journey to being allies for one another.  She mirrors humility and pride, so that others might take risks, not always be right and own their worth.  Anna has become an important part of my journey and for that I will be forever grateful.  I wish everyone had an Anna and a Fat Yoga in their life.  Image what kind of changes we could make in the world if we were all given the time and space to honor how our bodies and minds have gotten us to where we are today as well as learn and grow together.

Yoga Dress: The Avenue
Leggings: Torrid
Flip Flops: Teva's

Monday, September 15, 2014

Party Dresses

I have always loved dressing up.  My mom has awesome pictures of me a child in frilly dresses.  I loved having my bone-straight towhead blonde hair up in pink curlers the night before an event and then watching them fall in to bouncy curls the next day.  In my teens it was getting dressed up in my gowns for Job's Daughters, or singing at weddings and in the choir which required emerald green and black taffeta dresses with sweetheart necklines and poofy sleeves.

Frilly dress and curls circa 1978
Somewhere between adolescences and adulthood it changed.  I have been reflecting back and think it was upon my return from living a year abroad.  I feel like I changed a lot that year.  I got pierced and tattooed.  I feel like I came into my identity as someone who was not straight (it wasn't until college that I fully embraced my queerness!). I became a much more whole being during that time, exploring and embracing more complicated facets of who I was in general.  Then I returned home to Eugene, where everyone had moved on with their lives growing and changing together.  When I came back, it felt like I was supposed to just pick up where I left off - when in fact I was a completely different person.  I believe now that that dissonance fed my poor self-image and forced me further into my shell.

Some who have known me my whole life would probably never describe me as someone that was ever overwhelmed or intimidated  and that is often how I felt and still feel inside.  My experience growing up in a fat body allowed me to only see two choices; one was hiding away and never being seen or heard the other was to step into my own skin.  This would often mean "faking until I felt it" and displaying a brave face when other people were mean and hurtful.  This meant laughing at myself first as to beat others to the punch.  Big smiles, confident, out going; lonely, lost, sad.

I am glad I no longer reside in those places as often.  That's not to say that I don't get tripped up on my own stuff on occasion.  It's easy to do, regardless of your size.  Now a days, I have been trying to investigate and stay curious when I start walking down that road.  I try to find spaces where I can be ok, just how I am in my pretty frock or sweatpants, reminding myself that this is a journey, not a destination.

This was a dress that I bough over a a year ago to wear to a wedding, however the in one of those moments decided that I couldn't wear it.  A year later I pulled it out and got lots of positive feedback and felt pretty sexy in it! 
Dress:Lane Bryant, Belt: Torrid
Shoes: Crocs Tattoos: Roll Hardy

This is a new addition to my collection.  I bought it two months ago for a wedding and was so excited to gt to wear it.  It looks like lace and is in fact a wonderfully comfy heavy rayon/poly/spandex blend.  It is incredibly comfy and both hangs and twirls nicely.  Can't wait for cooler weather to partner it with a jean jacket, leggings and boots! 

Dress: Torrid Sandals: Aravon