It's mine so hush...

I am so incredibly in love with this new Torrid white label dark wash cropped jean jacket. It is probably my most favorite new piece of clothing. I'm never sure how things are going to be, since Torrid doesn't often carry size 5 or 28 in the store. When the jacket arrived and I pulled it out of its plastic and was instantly in love. It's the perfect weight for spring and summer and the fabric is buttery soft which makes rolling the sleeves a brief. I think it will be a great layering piece in the fall as well. It looks hot with all of my skater dresses and empire cut tops. It's definitely become my go-to piece and I would recommend it for anyone.

So I participated in this little campaign.  The point is that everybody is a bathing suit body.  It was the first time I had done a project quite like this.  I really enjoy the meaning behind it.  I think so many people get so caught up in their heads about how they have to look before they can live.  It's so unfortunate.  What are we waiting for?  There is always going to be something that we think we should change.  I say suit up and play!  It's what life is about...                                       

I participated in a photo shoot for an event called the #suitupcampaign.  It is the hope of the woman organizing it to have a more varied representation of body types in swim suits, which would in turn  invite other women to feel comfortable "suiting up" for summer if they saw bodies that looked like theirs.  I was asked to submit a picture of my suit and so I set out to take a couple selfies.  As I was going through them and I started to notice something; I looked beautiful. As a fat, white, cisgender, femme-presenting, often mis-identified queer woman who is currently partnered with a cisgender man, I have received many messages about my body over the course of my life. From a very young age my body was labeled as fat.  I understood the resounding message that my worth was directly tied to in how much space I was supposed to take up in the world.  I understood that it was always open season on my body - from family, friends, doctors and even stranger...

It's been a minute since we last chatted.  I'll admit I have been having loads of fun on  Instagram  as a means to explore fashion, HAES and the world around me.  I keep meaning to come back and actually blog and I get myself so worked up over the idea that I just let it go.  So I am going to try to come here more.  Share some of my fun fashion stuff.  Explore my thoughts on books I am currently reading.  Here's to new adventures together!

I remember as a young girl hating to go shopping.  I was a fat kid and a relatively small town.  Mind you, this was long before Lane Bryant, Torrid, The Avenue or anything like them existed on the West coast, if at all.  There was no hopping on the internet and having the latest fashions shipped to you in two days time.  In fact, it often took several weeks when ordering from a catalog, assuming there was anything that I liked. Shopping was a chore.  It was a time that I was reminded that my body was broken and that I must be immoral, lazy, and cheating on my diet, because if I wasn't then I should have been able to shop in the "right" section. But I couldn't. When I was a little kid, I was wearing teen sizes.  When I was a teen, I was wearing larger women's sizes.  In 1989, when Guess jeans, Vuarnet tank tops and Keds were in style, I was wearing Sears women's jeans, men's cut Vuarnet shirts and knock-off Keds from the K-mart.  It was fin...

Yesterday I got to play dress up all afternoon.  It was sooooo much fun.  Through some luck and random connections, I was introduced to the fabulous  Jessica Kane  who is an amazing fashion blogger, owner/publisher of  Skorch Magazine , talented photographer/model and loving mama and wife - so basically a really cool role model and inspiration.  We spent the afternoon shooting some basic shots and details on several really cute dresses and tunics from  SWAK Designs  and  Simply Be .  Jessica, along with her lovely friend Brit, and I had some great conversations about how fatshion often misses the mark.  It has a difficult time finding space for a verity of bodies, in my case, bodies farther up the size scale.  We are often overlooked and not marketed to, even though 1) we exist 2) we have to clothe our bodies 3) like everyone else we want to look and feel good in our clothing. Needless to say, it was an amazing afternoon and ...

It's Rose Bowl day!  Woohoo! I have to work this morning, and it doesn't mean I can't get into the spirit.   Notice the shirt, necklace and earrings.   GO DUCKS!!

This furthers my desire to have Taylor as a little sister.  I think we would have so much fun being Pollyannas together! :-)

I swear I meant to send out cards this year.  Since I hadn't had the time last year, I actually bought cards in October this year to ensure that I would get them out.  I even bought stamps!  Yet, life doesn't always play out the way you think it will. Anyway, on with the year end update! The year started pretty slow.  Gage was plugging along through his first year of High School.  It was a big adjustment from a tiny K-8 to on of Oregon's largest high schools.  He was involved in stage craft class and got to assist in several school productions.   We also learned that Alan's job would be ending in June.  Knowledge Universe, the company he's spent almost 11 years working for, decided to outsource his department to the Philippines.  Alan seemed to take it all in stride and was looking forward to the change, and I'll admit, I spent the next 6 months worrying about what was going to happen!  I also took a part-time job at the National C...

The weather has been so strange here in the NW.  We had the longest summer ever, then overnight it was freezing.  We had a patch of snow then ice and now we have mellowed back into our cool-ish rainy season.  All this to say dressing in layers is the way to go.   I injured my back and was struggling to feel good and find clothes that I could wear comfortably all day.  Here are a few of my favorites of recent! Skirt, Leggings & Scarf:  Lane Bryant Tank:  Old Navy Sweater:  Kohls Blue wrap, Leggings, Scarf & Boots:  Lane Bryant Skirt:  The Avenue Vest:  Fred Meyer Jeans & Boots:  Lane Bryant Sweater Hoodie:  Torrid Vest:  Fred Meyer Boots & Jeans:  Lane Bryant Love Shirt:  Torrid Vest:  Fred Meyer

I shared before my crazy work schedule. I'm currently working two jobs.  One full-time 40 hours a week in the afternoon/evenings and one part-time 12 hours a week in the mornings. This doesn't leave me much time for anything really, other than working. I've had to become pretty regimented in meal preparation, otherwise I would never get the decent homemade meal Monday through Friday. Every two weeks I sit down and plan dinners for next two weeks and then go grocery shopping accordingly. The week after a big shop is my favorite. It's usually when I try new recipes.  Today is one of my favorites, vegetarian enchiladas! The hard part is going to be waiting for dinner break to eat it. :-)

I got super sick last week.  I think that comes with working in an urgent walk-in clinic.  You run the risk of coming into contact with more sick folks.  Anyway, I did my best this week to dress in the "fake it until you make it style" to get through feeling crummy and still having to be at work.   I use this tool often in my life. It helps me get through when things feel overwhelming or I'm unsure or I'm super anxious.  I feel that sitting with discomfort is not something that we as a society are very good at anymore. It seems that in this "I should be able to get anything I want whenever I want it culture," the idea we may have to be uncomfortable for a while is unheard of.  As I continue working on sitting with discomfort, little things like fashion create a space for me.  If I am in comfortable clothes, I can focus on being present in my feelings and pay attention to what may be bringing me discomfort and how I might change it.  If I am a...

I have fallen in love with  Pinterest .  I was late to the game, much like I was with Facebook, however once I arrived I hit the ground running.  Like many people, I started using it for recipes, then when we bought our house I started pinning ideas for how to garden, patch dry wall and other adventures.  However it was until recently when I started my "journey to fashion" if you will, that I found out how amazing it was for inspiring new outfits. Check out this example! This was the original that I totally fell in love with  her  outfit! This was my first attempt. I have struggled finding the perfect striped shirt.  This is a chevron shirt by  Avenue .  The jeans and jacket are both  Lane Bryant This was my second attempt after finding a stripped shirt at  Lane Bryant .

I try to make it to  Fat Yoga  every Saturday.  Due to my ridiculous work schedule, I can't make classes during the week so Saturday mornings are precious to me.  There is something magical the happens in that time and space and when I miss it, I feel like I have missed out in some sort of cosmic cleansing and emotional refueling. I have been doing yoga off and on for nearly 20 years and never has it felt quite like this.  The owner,  Anna , is a magic maker.  She invites us back into our bodies, which on more than one occasion has brought me to tears.  Anna reminds us, as we move through poses, of how strong we are and how we deserve to be here today taking up space.  She encourages us to grow in our love of our bodies.  She challenges us to trust our bodies and to listen closely to them.  She creates a space for rich conversations to happen, where we can safely explore what we don't know and continue our journey to being allies ...