it's been busy 'round these parts!

Last weekend Team Mongoose headed south to Eugene to celebrate Pa's birthday. We were supposed to go camping, but Pa was fighting an allergy/asthma attack, so we decided to take it easy. Gage did get to do some fishing with Pa. Pa loves having his grandson around. They get on well together. Nena and I cleaned up around the house and prepared for an afternoon barbecue.

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#SUITUP

So I participated in this little campaign. The point is that everybody is a bathing suit body. It was the first time I had done a project quite like this. I really enjoy the meaning behind it. I think so many people get so caught up in their heads about how they have to look before they can live. It's so unfortunate. What are we waiting for? There is always going to be something that we think we should change. I say suit up and play! It's what life is about...

There are so many reasons why I should hate this photo, but I don't.

I participated in a photo shoot for an event called the #suitupcampaign. It is the hope of the woman organizing it to have a more varied representation of body types in swim suits, which would in turn invite other women to feel comfortable "suiting up" for summer if they saw bodies that looked like theirs. I was asked to submit a picture of my suit and so I set out to take a couple selfies. As I was going through them and I started to notice something; I looked beautiful. As a fat, white, cisgender, femme-presenting, often mis-identified queer woman who is currently partnered with a cisgender man, I have received many messages about my body over the course of my life. From a very young age my body was labeled as fat. I understood the resounding message that my worth was directly tied to in how much space I was supposed to take up in the world. I understood that it was always open season on my body - from family, friends, doctors and even stranger...

The look that started it all...

When I began my new attempt at fashion/photo taking journey it sprung from this cute picture. I was reading a bunch of articles by Lesley Kinzel and she kept showing up in these cute little dresses with leggings and a shirt tied high. I loved the look and again, was convinced that it would not work on my body type. This is an ongoing narrative in so many peoples lives. "I can't wear this, it's not right for my body." "I can't cut my hair that short, my face is too fat." "I can't show my arms because they jiggle." All these are excuses that get in the way of living a full life, a life that we deserve. I can't how many times I have allowed myself to miss out on an adventure, both big and small, out of fear of how my body may be perceived or fear that it/I won't be accepted. I am tired of feeling that way. I am tired of feeling like I don't deserve to feel good in what I am wearing, how I want to move my body and wh...

It's mine so hush...

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