Change, will it do me good?

My job ended yesterday. It was fairly abrupt and unexpected, but once I got over the shock I was ok with it. I am able to get unemployment and I have applied for a few jobs that would be interesting and more social work related. I have to admit it is easier this time.

When I was laid off from BAH I was really angry about having to give up on something that I had worked so hard for and was so committed to. I was angry that the "new leadership" was so off base. I was scared about what was going to happen to me and whether or not we would be financially ok loosing so much income. But it all worked out in the end. We were ok, and I ended up being less angry.

This time I have a clearer understanding of it all. I know how to work out a schedule. I know what I need to do to keep myself from going bonkers. I can just relax for a minute and reformulate my game plan. Now that I think about it, I am pretty sure this change will do me good. :)

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There are so many reasons why I should hate this photo, but I don't.

I participated in a photo shoot for an event called the #suitupcampaign. It is the hope of the woman organizing it to have a more varied representation of body types in swim suits, which would in turn invite other women to feel comfortable "suiting up" for summer if they saw bodies that looked like theirs. I was asked to submit a picture of my suit and so I set out to take a couple selfies. As I was going through them and I started to notice something; I looked beautiful. As a fat, white, cisgender, femme-presenting, often mis-identified queer woman who is currently partnered with a cisgender man, I have received many messages about my body over the course of my life. From a very young age my body was labeled as fat. I understood the resounding message that my worth was directly tied to in how much space I was supposed to take up in the world. I understood that it was always open season on my body - from family, friends, doctors and even stranger...

The look that started it all...

When I began my new attempt at fashion/photo taking journey it sprung from this cute picture. I was reading a bunch of articles by Lesley Kinzel and she kept showing up in these cute little dresses with leggings and a shirt tied high. I loved the look and again, was convinced that it would not work on my body type. This is an ongoing narrative in so many peoples lives. "I can't wear this, it's not right for my body." "I can't cut my hair that short, my face is too fat." "I can't show my arms because they jiggle." All these are excuses that get in the way of living a full life, a life that we deserve. I can't how many times I have allowed myself to miss out on an adventure, both big and small, out of fear of how my body may be perceived or fear that it/I won't be accepted. I am tired of feeling that way. I am tired of feeling like I don't deserve to feel good in what I am wearing, how I want to move my body and wh...

Little Bliss List!

I believe I mentioned before falling in love with this website . I stumbled upon Liv (pronounced leeev, not like "Live Strong") when looking for ideas for Christmas. She creates some really positive and affirming art and has a store on Etsy. Anyway, on her blog, she has created a weekly post dedicated to recognizing the moments of bliss in her life. She invites others to post their own list and link with her. I wanted to do this last week, and didn't get it together in time. This week I figured what better way to wrap up my weekend than spend a few minutes recognizing my moments of bliss over the course of the last week. So here I go... 1) The smell of fresh brewed coffee on Monday morning and caramel mocchiato creamer. 2) Spending time with my bestie supporting each other through rough work stuff and celebrating the planning of her impending nuptials. I love that our relationship is deep, strong and marvelously complicated. 3) Weekly chats with my Grams. I am...

It's mine so hush...

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